As We Grow

As we grow up, we tend to forgot whatever dreams that he had since childhood. The older we get, the more we actually come to realize that we have no more dream, those naïve but inspirational dreams….

As for me, I used to also have a lot of dreams, but time, No! Not time, but myself who has given up all those dreams. Undoubtedly, dreams does change or forgotten along the path of our life.

Childhood :

1) To be a GREAT GREAT DOCTOR- and I mean CURATIVE, COMPASSIONATE, INSPIRATIONAL DOCTOR.

2) To learn exclusive MARTIAL ART, including JUDO (my favourite-yellow belt<2^nd lowest rank>) and maybe KARATE (brown belt only).

I used to so-called fight/compete with my friends last time. Haha, so childish of me that I soon realized there are so much more for me to learn.

3) To own a house with a HUGE GARDEN and a MODERATE POND with a lot of fish. Not to forget, I wanted to design a SPECIAL FISH AQUARIUM within the house where all the fish can swim throughout the house.

4) To learn all about TRADITIONAL CHINESE MEDICINE & HYPNOSIS.

I was so amazed by the way how those “*singseh” managed to diagnose any disease just by feeling the pulse and how a person can be hypnotized without even letting a person knowing it.

*Singseh- Chinese doctor in olden day

Another grey day of my life…

Looking and seeing the pain & suffering that my grandma (pancreatic Cancer since 2 months ago) got to go through, I am wondering is there anything that I can do?

Or, maybe there is something , just something to relief her pain?

All my aunt , mum and uncle are trying all sorts of so-called “complementary medicine ” ranging from some direct sales(water filter & nutritional products), complex Chinese complementary herbal medicine and oilments which claim might be a cure for cancer. Hmm, I really doubt if those really work? And, I am also wondering ; is that what she wanted?

It’s not going to be something nice nor tolerable to actually eat dozen of medicine every single day for a long period of time, as if the rice we are eating each day. Actually, the doctors have been prescribing morphine to my grandma, since she really couldn’t tolerate the pain and was keep on demanding for panadol(paracetamol) each alternate hour even at night. However, it’s seems that it doesn’t works on her and she claim that paracetamol helps her more.. Hmm, I still need to find out the answer for this. Therefore, my relatives are all searching for something to relieve the pain and probably “curing” the disease. But, how much is the efficacy and truth? I really want to know!!!!!!!

On the other hand, It Is The Hope That Keep Human On-Going, Isn’t It? I just cant tell them it’s not going to work as a medical student, that my grandma wouldn’t has the chance to live on. And, it’s also at that moment I found myself trapped, trapped in the realism of this world. I know there is no way that me or any other people to run away from it, but I just hope 1 day I will be able to understand it.